Halachah · Modern
A Lifetime Companion to the Laws of Jewish Family Life, Part Four; Medical Issues, Chapter 6; Marital Relations/מדריך להלכות טהרת המשפחה·
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1Halachic aspects of marital relations
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2While much has been written of the Jewish attitude towards sex, little has been written of the specific commandments, and even less about halachic implications of sexual problems.1 This is partially because it is a topic in which modesty, even verbal modesty, is required. This section is included not to make light of the importance of modesty in this area, but because of a need for some discussion of this topic to prevent couples from suffering needlessly.
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3Sex is a natural but learned behavior (see Appendix C, pp. 200–204, for further discussion of physiology). For a couple in which neither has prior sexual experience, learning together is part of the bonding process of their marriage. This can take time and should be approached with patience, understanding, and a bit of a sense of humor by both husband and wife. When one member of the couple has prior experience, even more understanding and patience is sometimes needed. It should be remembered that, particularly for those who have had no physical contact prior to marriage, it is sometimes quite an adjustment to make all at once.
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4The halachic obligation
האִם אַחֶרֶת יִקַּח לוֹ שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעֹנָתָהּ לֹא יִגְרָע. (שמות כא:י)