Likutei Tefilot, Volume I 81/ליקוטי תפילות·חלק א פ״א

1Temporary and Permanent Repentance / The Tzaddik Sees His Smallness and the Greatness of the Jewish People / Repentance and the Shabbat / Repentance and IncomeA person must make sure that nothing within him prevents the coming of the Mashiach. In other words, he must repent.There are two types of repentance. The first kind is temporary. A person engages in business and the vanities of this world and, in the midst of that, he thinks of repenting — but then he returns to his original ways. He may flip back and forth repeatedly in this manner — between life and death, kosher and non-kosher, clean and unclean, forbidden and permitted. This type of repentance corresponds to the six days of the week.The second type of repentance is permanent. In this case, evil is entirely expelled. This type of repentance corresponds to the Shabbat, and is associated with the level of Moses and Mashiach. Thus, Moses carried the staff of God in his hand, with which he transformed reality from evil to good. On the Shabbat, a Tzaddik repents completely and then he can see how small he is and how great the Jewish people are. That is why every true Tzaddik — principally Moses — dedicates himself to helping the Jewish people.When a person sees his lowliness, no one can deprive him of his livelihood by attempting to remove him from his place. Because he is humble to the point of nothingness, he has no characteristic corresponding to “place.”Storm-Tossed by This World“I have taken refuge in HaShem. How shall you say to my soul, flee to your mountain like a bird?” Yet although “I have been diligent, I remain like a bird alone on the roof. All day long my enemies revile me; those who are crazed against me curse me. I have eaten ashes like bread and mingled my drink with weeping, because of Your anger and Your wrath — for You lifted me up and then cast me down.”

2I wander throughout the world without rest or quiet, in the midst of a storm that grows ever wilder. I am tossed about and torn asunder, more so than a ship driven off course in the heart of the sea.

3Because I tasted the bitter fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, good and evil have mingled together within me until I have no peace and quiet.

4Sometimes a little bit of goodness is aroused in me. Then I experience a thought of repentance and I decide to follow the ways of HaShem, the ways of the holy Torah, and I yearn for complete repentance.

5But in the midst of that, my fiery lusts are aroused until I stray.

6And so I rise and descend, descend and rise, and I cannot gain equanimity.

7Woe to me because of my evil inclination! Woe to me before my Maker!

8My soul is like a stone shot from a slingshot, like a body flung about by monstrous waves streaked with the mud of the meaningless lusts of this world.

9I have no way to describe my pitiable state from the day that I entered the world until this day. “I have had no tranquility and no quiet, and have not rested; and trouble has come.”

10To Live Permanently with GodTherefore, I plead before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, to bring me peace and quiet, and may I merit to repent before You with a complete repentance.

11You Who told Your world to cease expanding with the word “Enough!” — tell my troubles, “Enough!”

12You Who told the sea at the shore, “Do not cross this point!” — rebuke my evil inclination and all those who pursue me, so they will leave me alone and cease to exist, and I will be able to serve You with all my heart. May I be saved and gain peace. May I find my power in tranquility and confidence.

13May I no longer experience You as ruling my life with arbitrary occurrences. May I no longer be like a turning wheel or a flung staff, so that one moment I am worthy and the next moment unworthy, one moment pure and the next moment impure.

14Help me make Torah an unchanging part of my life and place myself permanently within Your holiness. May I repent completely and serve You always, day and night, with all my heart and soul, with both my good and evil inclinations.

15The Holy ShabbatRaise me quickly from impurity to purity, from the mundane to holiness, from the six days of the week to the holy Shabbat.

16Help me celebrate the holy Shabbat with joy and happiness, honor and delight, and holiness and piety, in accordance with Your beneficent will.

17May I be absorbed into the holiness of the Shabbat always, until I draw that holiness to the six days of the week.

18May I attain the repentance of the holy Shabbat and refrain from all mundane matters. May I turn away entirely from the lusts and vanities of this world and plant myself within holiness, with tranquility and quiet — a tranquility of love and generosity, a tranquility of truth and faith, a tranquility of peace and calm, quiet and confidence, a complete tranquility that You desire.

19May there be no falsehood in my spirit. May I never return to foolishness.

20I Have Harmed MyselfMy transgressions cannot be measured or counted. They are more numerous than the grains of sand in the sea. There are no words to describe the multitude and intensity of my terrible sins against You.

21Woe to me, because I transgressed! Woe, what have I done? How could it be that I did not have pity on my precious spirit? How could it be that I was crueler to my spirit than murderers and sadists?

22If all of the murderers, thieves and sadists in the world would gather against me, they would not be able to do to me in a thousand years what I did to myself with a single sin.

23And I committed so many sins — so many that they are too numerous to count. Woe is me!

24“Who will make my head water and my eye a source of tears?” I will weep day and night over my profanations. I have abused my holiness and torn apart my spirit in my anger.

25I oppressed my soul with bitter and hard afflictions.

26I come before You filled with sin, and You are filled with compassion. I am filled with confusion, evil thoughts and a twisted heart, and You are filled with goodness, decency, truth, kindness, compassion, life and peace.

27Renewal and HumilityMaster of the world, grant me a miracle so that I will not be like the dead even in my lifetime.

28Help me attain complete repentance — the repentance of the holy Shabbat. Help me place myself permanently within the world of Torah and Divine service. May I spend all of my days in repentance, so that even during the six days of the week, I will be absorbed into the holiness of the Shabbat. By means of that holiness, may I recognize how lowly I am. Grant me true humility to be even lower in my eyes than I really am. At any rate, may I not rise above myself and overestimate myself, but recognize that I am on a level that is immeasurably humble.

29May no hidden pride reside in my heart. Save me from egotism, haughtiness and coarseness of spirit.

30Humility and Loving the Jewish PeopleMy Father in Heaven, help me attain the ability to see with the eyes of the Shabbat, so that I will be able to recognize my lowliness.

31I am infinitely low. Nevertheless, my ulterior motives and boundless pride confuse my mind so that I do not know anything of humility.

32HaShem, You know my heart. You know how disgrace, shame and humiliation torment me.

33Help me return to You with complete repentance. Rescue me from egotism, haughtiness and an arrogant spirit. Help me attain true humility until I will see how small I am and how great the holy people of Israel are, and may I dedicate myself to them always.

34For the Seventh of Adar, the Yahrtzeit of MosesMay we not impede the coming of the Mashiach. A number of times in the past, with our evil deeds and many sins, we obstructed his coming and lengthened the exile.

35Now tell our troubles, “Enough!”

36Keep us from committing any more sins, from engaging in any more evil thoughts, and from suffering any more confusion. Help us attain pure, holy, lucid and proper thoughts.

37Bring me close to You. Help me walk before You on a straight path. Transform me from evil to absolute good. Turn my heart to You. Help me attain true and eternal goodness.

38“He sets my feet upon the rock; He firmly establishes my steps.” May I be set forever in Your service, in Your Torah and in the fear of You.

39“He causes me to lie down upon lush meadows, He leads me alongside the tranquil waters, He restores my spirit. He leads me upon paths of justice for the sake of His Name.”

40Help me come close to true Tzaddikim, to wholehearted people whose hearts are upright.

41Send us a true leader, a faithful shepherd like Moses, who will carry us “as the nurse carries the suckling child,” until he will bring us to holiness and repentance.

42Quickly redeem us. Bring us our righteous Mashiach. Help us live in accordance with Your beneficent will all the days of our lives. May we realize the verse, “Trust in HaShem and do good. Dwell in the Land and shepherd with faith.”

43“Bring us back to You, HaShem, and we will return; renew our days as of old.”