Sefer HaMiddot, Children, Part I/ספר המדות·בנים·חלק ראשון

1When one cries in mourning for the passing of an honest person, he merits raising his children.

2Care must be taken that a baby boy does not go bareheaded.

3A person need not worry about having enough to support his children. As they grow, so does his income.

4Anyone who prevents another person from ‘being fruitful and multiplying’ (Genesis 1:22) will descend into hell childless.

5A man who forces his wife to have marital relations will have indecent children.

6A woman whose menstrual flow is heavy will find the difficulties of child rearing a great burden.

7The daughter of a Kohen who marries a regular Jew (Israelite), or the daughter of a Torah scholar who marries a boor, will bear no offspring.

8Fasting on Thursdays is a segulah for raising children.

9A modest woman is rewarded with good children.

10When a man joyously celebrates the holidays, or properly dons tefilin, his wife bears him sons.

11There are times when praying for children on behalf of a person who has none will bring about that person’s death.

12For the sin of unfulfilled oaths, children are punished with death.

13Moving from one place to another causes a person to be blessed with children.

14Older children do not die for the sins of their fathers. However, where the desecration of God’s Name is involved, even older children die.

15One who eats meat and drinks wine will conceive healthy children.

16A person who stares at the heel of a woman, or at his own wife when she is ritually impure, will have indecent children.

17A man who has lived in the Land of Israel for ten years and has remained childless should divorce his wife; it would seem that he is unworthy of building himself [a family] through her.

18What should a person do to have male children? He should marry a suitable woman, sanctify himself when he is with her, and beseech the One to whom the blessing of children belongs.

19Whoever bears children does so in his own likeness.

20A person should be careful not to cut down a tree before its time, because doing so is detrimental to the raising of children.

21Whoever exerts himself to be charitable will have children who are rich, wise and masters oiAggadah.

22What should a person do to have children? He should distribute his money to the poor and make his wife happy before having marital relations.

23Just as it is forbidden to kill a person, it is forbidden to chop down a fruit-bearing tree before its time.

24We find the term “death” applied to Joab because he left no progeny like himself. Of David it is said that he was “laid to rest” because he left a son like himself.

25The evil-eye does not rule over one whose first child is a girl.

26Whoever raises an orphan in his home, it is as if he fathered him.

27Whoever teaches Torah to the son of a fellow Jew, it is as if he fathered him.

28Forty days prior to the formation of the embryo, a man should pray that his wife bear a son.

29The wife of a man whose thoughts are immoral will also have such thoughts. When she entertains immoral thoughts, the forces of evil come to her in her dreams, and because of this her children die.

30When a man is unfaithful to his wife, she will be unfaithful to him.

31Whoever burns a fellow Jew’s produce will leave no son to inherit him.

32A woman who loses her children in birth should put an apple on her head [while delivering them].

33Whoever begins a mitzvah but does not complete it buries his wife and sons.

34A man who marries a woman for money will have indecent children and also lose the money in no time at all.

35A person who occupies himself with Torah and acts of kindness is rewarded with many children.

36Children do not die for the sin of their fathers unless they carry on in their fathers’ ways.

37Marital relations are beneficial for the fetus; purifying and providing the child with alertness, strength and a distinguished appearance.

38A person who has no children should accept upon himself the travails of exile.

39Taking away a fellow Jew’s means of income is like violating his wife.

40Being given over into the hands of one’s enemies is like being bereaved of one’s sons.

41A person who has sexual relations with a gentile woman, or with another man, or who entertains thoughts of idolatry, will not have a Torah scholar for a son. Even if he should teach his son Torah, he will forget it.

42Good children bring great healing for their ancestors.

43Falsehood causes one’s children to die.

44Whoever does not separate from his wife close to the expected time of her menstruation, his sons—even if they are like those of Aaron—will die. But a man who does separate will have male children who are fit to render judgments in Torah law.

45Whoever uses wine in performing the Havdalah service separating Shabbat from the week, will have male children who are fit to render judgments in Torah law.

46A person who sanctifies himself by behaving modestly during marital relations will have male children.

47Care should be taken not to allow a baby to nurse from an evil woman, because the milk he suckles has the power to make him either pure or impure.

48Warm water and oil are good for an infant’s health.

49By not holding back when nature calls, a person’s prayers on behalf of his children will be accepted.

50Offspring take after their father and mother in height.

51Indecent behavior in one’s house is more destructive than the war of Gog and Magog.

52Coming early and staying late in the synagogue lengthens the days of one’s children.

53A person should not favor one of his children over the others.

54Lighting Chanukah and Shabbat candles makes one worthy of having sons who are Torah scholars.

55A person who shows love for the Sages will have sons who are sages. By honoring the Sages, his sons-in-law will be sages.

56One’s children die in youth for his sins of not fulfilling his oaths, neglecting to study Torah, failing to keep the mitzvot of mezuzah and tzitzit, and for the sin of unwarranted hatred.

57If a person tithes his wealth, his children will be saved from diphtheria.

58Schoolchildren die for the sins of their generation.

59Obtaining myrtle branches for Shabbat makes one worthy of having children who are Torah scholars.

60A segulah for a woman who miscarries is to bathe a bride before her wedding.

61The food one eats influences his sons and daughters [at the time of their conception].

62A person whose children die should not have marital relations during the week, but only on the night of Shabbat.

63Drawing a bow and arrow on Lag B’Omer is a segulah for having children, as is singing the prayers while leading the congregation in worship.

64Proper behavior must be taught from infancy.

65The songs and praises of God that are recited before the light of day are a segulah for having children, for increasing the milk of a nursing woman, and for being spared from a wife with an angry nature.

66A person who humbles himself in the presence of his teacher and turns to his teacher with all his doubts even though his teacher shames him, will merit having a son who is even greater than his teacher in the study of Torah.

67Aperson who accepts his suffering with love merits offspring who will live long.

68God performs great deeds for a person in accordance with his name. This is because a person’s name influences [all aspects of his life.]

69A person who raises his voice in order to show off causes his children to be taken captive.

70A person who is childless should use oil regularly.

71There are times when changing one’s place of dwelling saves the life of his children.

72By pursuing peace, a person saves his sons from death and exile.

73When a person does something that is afterwards a hindrance for other people, all good is severed from his offspring.

74There are times when the great love between husband and wife prevents her from bearing children.

75Most barren women who later conceive will give birth to a son.

76Children die because of fraud.

77The Tzaddik has the power to curse a person so that he will not have decent children.

78A person in whose house the Tzaddik takes lodging is blessed with children.

79A person who desires to perform some mitzvah but does not merit fulfilling it, will be rewarded with children. They will inherit his greatness and will accomplish that mitzvah.

80When a person interferes with another’s livelihood, in the end his children die.

81A magnet is a segulah for having children.

82A person’s children die when he uses names of impurity or sorcery, of if he just believes in them.

83When a husband and wife wash their hands and give charity before engaging in marital relations, they remove the spirit of impurity from the children that they conceive.

84There are women who bear females, but not males.

85By reciting the chapter of tzitzit (Numbers 15:37-41) with devotion and great fear of God, and by clothing the naked, a person merits having sons.

86When the year has been a prosperous one, take it as a sign that the Jews will “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:22).

87The children of a woman who uses sorcery will die, and she will become a widow.

88A segulah for increasing the milk of a nursing mother is for her husband to mourn the destruction of Jerusalem.

89Falsehood brings harm to one’s children. The place in which they live can also cause them harm.

90If a person brings joy to a groom and bride, or—

91if he is heedful [of the mitzvot that involve] lighting candles, his wife will bear sons.

92An abundance of rain is a sign that many sons will be born during that year.

93Husband and wife who curse each other will not raise their children.

94A segulah for raising children: plant some type of produce, and when you harvest it, give it to the poor without having any pleasure from it yourself.

95A person who instills excessive fear in the people of his generation will not have progeny whose hearts contain wisdom.

96Whoever has no compassion for his children clearly has no understanding of holiness.

97Not reviewing one’s studies {and forgetting them} causes one’s children to die.

98A person who has acted immorally will not raise his children.

99The Name of God — Elo'ah — אלוה - protects children.

100Whoever makes an effort to secure a livelihood for those who seek God, his children will not follow evil ways.

101Through faith in the Tzaddikim a person’s children live and endure.

102When a male child comes into the world, so does lovingkindness.

103One who causes grief to his parents is not worthy of raising sons.

104By pursuing peace, a person lives to see his children’s children.

105Damage to a door or window is a sign that one’s children will suffer sickness.

106When there is strife, it is a bad sign for one’s children; whereas peace is a good sign for them.

107A person who cannot control his temper will have foolish children.

108One who shows respect for his father is rewarded with sons.