Chasidut · Breslov
Shivchei HaRan, An Account of His Pilgrimage to the Holy Land 10/שבחי הר"ן·
אכְּלַל הַדָּבָר, כִּי אֵלּוּ הָאֲנָשִׁים הַנַּ"ל בִּזּוּ אוֹתוֹ ז"ל, בְּכָל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת וְכוּ', וְהוּא סָבַל הַכֹּל וְלֹא רָצָה לְגַלּוֹת לָהֶם בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן מִי הוּא. וְרִמָּה אוֹתָם בְּכַוָּנָה וּבִלְבֵּל דַּעְתָּם מְאֹד מְאֹד, עַד שֶׁהָיוּ מְבַזִּים אוֹתוֹ בְּכָל פַּעַם עַל שֶׁבְּכָל פַּעַם הוּא מְשַׁנֶּה עִנְיָנָיו, פַּעַם אֶחָד דִּבֵּר עִמָּהֶם עַד שֶׁנִּדְמָה לָהֶם בְּבֵרוּר שֶׁהוּא מִלַּגּוֹרְנָא (עִיר בְּאִטַלְיָא) וְכוּ' וְאַחַר־כָּךְ רָאוּ שֶׁלֹּא כֵּן הוּא וּבִזּוּ אוֹתוֹ מְאֹד מְאֹד.
1The two continued to insult the Rebbe in every possible way. But he endured it all, not revealing his identity despite all their taunts. He purposely tricked and confounded them, provoking them all the more. He played a different role each time they spoke to him. Once he spoke in such a manner that they were certain that he was from Lagurna. When they realized they were wrong, they were enraged.
בוּפַעַם אֶחָד דִּבֵּר עִמָּהֶם וְנִדְמָה לָהֶם שֶׁהוּא בֶּן הַקָּאמַרְנֶער, (דְּהַיְנוּ בֶּן הַמַּגִּיד מִקָּאמַרְנָא [ר' משה יוסף ליקוורניק] שֶׁהָיָה אָז מַחֲלֹקֶת גָּדוֹל עִמּוֹ כַּמְפֻרְסָם). וְאַחַר־כָּךְ בְּתוֹךְ הַדְּבָרִים הִתְחִיל הוּא ז"ל לְקַלֵּל אֶת הַקָּאמַרְנֶער וְגָעֲרוּ בּוֹ: "הֲלֹא הוּא אָבִיךָ?!" וְרָאוּ שֶׁעֲדַיִן לֹא עָמְדוּ עָלָיו.
2Another time, when he spoke to them, they thought he was the son of the Maggid of Kamarna,21 who had great opposition. In the middle of the conversation, the Rebbe suddenly began to berate the Kamarner. They screamed at him, “Isn’t he your father?” Then they realized that they still had no clue as to his identity.
גוּבְכָל פַּעַם הָיָה לוֹ שֵׁם אַחֵר, וּבְכָל שֵׁם שֶׁקָּרְאוּ אוֹתוֹ, נַעֲנָה לָהֶם וּבָא אֲלֵיהֶם. פִּתְאֹם יָצָא מִפִּיהֶם וְקָרְאוּ: "יְשַׁעְיָה!" כְּדֵי לְנַסּוֹתוֹ, אִם הוּא בֶּן הַקָּאמַרְנֶער שֶׁשְּׁמוֹ יְשַׁעְיָה, וּבָא הוּא ז"ל תֵּכֶף וּמִיָּד אֲלֵיהֶם וְנִדְמָה לָהֶם בְּוַדַּאי שֶׁהוּא בֶּן הַקָּאמַרְנֶער. וְאָמְרוּ לוֹ: "אַתָּה הוּא בְּוַדַּאי בֶּן הַנַּ"ל". וְהֵשִׁיב לָהֶם וְהוֹכִיחַ לָהֶם שֶׁאֵינוֹ בְּנוֹ.
3Each time they spoke to him, the Rebbe seemed to have a different name. No matter what name they used to address him, he would answer to it. Still thinking he was the Kamarner’s son, they once called him Yeshaya, which was the son’s name. The Rebbe immediately responded. They were positive they had caught him this time, and told him, “Now we know for sure that you are the Kamarner’s son.” Then the Rebbe spoke up and argued to the contrary.
דבְּתוֹךְ כָּךְ הִתְחִילוּ לְדַבֵּר מֵהַמַּתָּנָה שֶׁשָּׁלַח הַקָּאמַרְנֶער לִבְנוֹ, וְהִתְחִיל הוּא ז"ל תֵּכֶף לְבַקְּשָׁם וּלְהַפְצִיר אוֹתָם שֶׁיִּהְיוּ מַרְאִין לוֹ אֶת הַמַּתָּנָה שֶׁלּוֹ וְרָאוּ שׁוּב שֶׁהוּא בְּנוֹ. וְאַחַר־כָּךְ דִּבְּרוּ עִמּוֹ עוֹד וְקִלְּלוּ אוֹתוֹ. וְנִבְהֲלוּ מְאֹד מְאֹד וּבָאוּ בְּכַעַס גָּדוֹל וּבִזּוּ אוֹתוֹ מְאֹד מְאֹד.
4In the course of the conversation, they began to speak of the gift that the Kamarner was sending to his son. The Rebbe immediately began to plead, urging them to show it to him. They were sure they had identified him as the Kamarner’s son, but then he began to curse the Kamarner again. They became furious at him and berated him with insult upon insult.
הוּכְשֶׁשָּׁאֲלוּ אוֹתוֹ: "לָמָה אַתָּה אוֹמֵר עַכְשָׁו שֶׁשִּׁמְךָ כָּךְ וְאַחַר־כָּךְ שֵׁם אַחֵר וְכֵן בְּשֵׁם מְקוֹמְךָ?", הֵשִׁיב לָהֶם גַּם־כֵּן שֶׁכָּל שֵׁם וְשֵׁם הוּא כְּפִי הַמִּדָּה וְהַסְּפִירָה שֶׁנֹּאחֵז בּוֹ וְכוּ' וַאֲנִי בָּרוּךְ הַשֵּׁם כָּלוּל מִכֻּלָּם.
5They fumed at him, “Why do you constantly change your name? One day you have one name and the next day, another. The name of your city seems to change just as often!” The Rebbe replied, “Every name is connected to a given attribute or sefirah.22 8:2, Shiur Kumah 2. Thank God, I include them all.”
ווְכָל מַה שֶּׁעָבַר בְּעִנְיָן זֶה יִקְצְרוּ הֲמוֹן יְרִיעוֹת לְסַפֵּר. וְהוּא ז"ל, הָיָה מְעוֹרֵר אוֹתָם לִפְעָמִים מֵהַשֵּׁנָה, וְהִתְחִיל לְדַבֵּר עִמָּהֶם עַד שֶׁבָּאוּ בְּכַעַס גָּדוֹל וְהִתְחִילוּ עוֹד לְקַלֵּל וּלְבַזּוֹת אוֹתוֹ מְאֹד.
6The entire story would consume many volumes. The Rebbe often woke them from their sleep and began to converse with them. They became furious, cursing him violently.
זוּבְעֶרֶב־שַׁבַּת־קֹדֶשׁ בָּאוּ הֵם מִבֵּית הַטְּבִילָה, וְהוּא ז"ל הָיָה שׁוֹכֵב עַל הַדַּרְגָּשׁ יָחֵף בְּלִי חֲגוֹרָה וּבְלִי כּוֹבַע עֶלְיוֹן. וְשָׁאַל אוֹתָם: "מִפְּנֵי מָה בְּכָל הַשָּׁבוּעַ הַגּוּף שֶׁלִּי קַל וְאֵין לִי כְּבֵדוּת וְעַכְשָׁו יֵשׁ לִי כְּבֵדוּת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד, עַד שֶׁכִּמְעַט אֵינִי יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד מִמָּקוֹם זֶה?"
7One Friday afternoon, they returned from the mikvah. The Rebbe was lying on the couch barefoot, without his belt or hat. He asked them, “Why does my body feel light all week? I never feel any fatigue, but now I feel so weary that I can hardly stand.”
חוְהֵשִׁיבוּ לוֹ: "מֵחֲמַת שֶׁבְּכָל עֶרֶב־שַׁבַּת־קֹדֶשׁ הַנְּשָׁמָה זוֹ עוֹלָה לְמַעְלָה וּנְשָׁמָה הַיְתֵרָה בָּאָה לְמַטָּה, וְאֶצְלְךָ הָלְכָה הַנְּשָׁמָה שֶׁלְּךָ וּנְשָׁמָה יְתֵרָה אֵינְךָ זוֹכֶה לְקַבֵּל עַל־כֵּן נִשְׁאָר גּוּפְךָ כְּאֶבֶן".
8They replied, “Every Friday afternoon, as Shabbat approaches, the soul goes up on high and the additional Shabbat soul descends (see Beitzah 15b; Zohar II, 135b, 204b). In your case, your weekday soul has left, but you are not worthy of the Shabbat soul. Therefore, your body is like a stone.”
טוְהֵשִׁיב לָהֶם: "אוֹי לָכֶם, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּדָבָר קַל כָּזֶה אֵינְכֶם יוֹדְעִים מַה לְּהָשִׁיב".
9The Rebbe mocked them, “Woe is to you! You cannot even answer a simple question.”
יוּבִקֵּשׁ אוֹתָם שֶׁיְּקַבְּלוּ אוֹתוֹ עַל שַׁבָּת אֶצְלָם וְלֹא רָצוּ. וּבְשַׁבָּת קִבְּלוּ אֶת הָאִישׁ שֶׁהָיָה עִמּוֹ אֶצְלָם עַל שַׁבָּת, וְאוֹתוֹ לֹא רָצוּ לְקַבֵּל וְהֻכְרַח לֶאֱכֹל מַאַכְלֵי חָלָב (כִּי לֹא רָצוּ לֶאֱכֹל שָׁם בָּשָׂר. רַק הֵם, הָיָה לָהֶם אֵיזֶה שׁוֹחֵט).
10The Rebbe asked if he could spend Shabbat with them. They refused, inviting only his attendant. The Rebbe would not eat any meat there and was forced to eat dairy foods for Shabbat. They, however, had a shochet who provided them with meat.
יאוְגַם בְּשַׁבָּת הָיָה לָהֶם מַחֲלֹקֶת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד עִמּוֹ, וְרָצוּ לְדָחְפוֹ לַחוּץ כִּי הוּא נִכְנַס אֶצְלָם אַף־עַל־פִּי שֶׁלֹּא אָכַל עִמָּהֶם, וְהֵם הִתְחִילוּ לָרִיב עִמּוֹ עַד שֶׁרָצוּ לְדָחְפוֹ לַחוּץ וְהָיָה רַעַשׁ גָּדוֹל שָׁם. וְכֵן בַּבֹּקֶר הָיָה גַּם־כֵּן כָּךְ.
11That Friday night, they had a bitter dispute with the Rebbe, almost throwing him out of the house. Although he had not been invited to eat with them, he stopped in for a visit. But they began to quarrel with him, causing a great commotion and trying to throw him out of the house. This happened again during the day.
יבכְּלַל הַדָּבָר, כִּי הוּא ז"ל עָשָׂה בְּכַוָּנָה, וְהִנִּיחַ עַצְמוֹ לְבַזּוֹת בְּכָל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת. וְאָמַר לְהָאִישׁ שֶׁהָיָה עִמּוֹ: שֶׁאֵלּוּ הַבִּזְיוֹנוֹת יִהְיוּ לוֹ טוֹבָה גְּדוֹלָה בַּהֲלִיכָה וּבַחֲזָרָה. כִּי גֹּדֶל עֹצֶם הַמְּנִיעוֹת הַגְּדוֹלוֹת שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ לָבוֹא לְאֶרֶץ־יִשְׂרָאֵל אִי־אֶפְשָׁר לְשַׁעֵר וּלְהַעֲרִיךְ וּלְסַפֵּר. וְלֹא הָיָה לוֹ בְּאֶפְשָׁרִי לָבוֹא לְאֶרֶץ־יִשְׂרָאֵל כִּי אִם עַל־יְדֵי קַטְנוּת זֹאת, כַּאֲשֶׁר נִשְׁמַע אַחַר־כָּךְ מִפִּיו בְּפֵרוּשׁ.
12All this was actually done intentionally. The Rebbe allowed himself to be insulted in every possible manner. He told his attendant, “These insults are very beneficial to me, clearing the way both there and back. Before I reach my goal, I must overcome great barriers beyond measure or description. Without this degradation, it would be utterly impossible for me to set foot in the Holy Land.”
יגוְאָמַר: שֶׁאִם לֹא הָיוּ לוֹ אֵלּוּ הַבִּזְיוֹנוֹת וְהַקַּטְנוּת, לֹא הָיָה לוֹ בְּאֶפְשָׁרִי לָבוֹא לְשָׁם בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן.
13Later, the Rebbe said explicitly, “If not for these insults, it would have been absolutely impossible for me to reach my destination.”
ידוְאָמַר: שֶׁרָאָה שֶׁהוּא מֻכְרָח לִשָּׁאֵר שָׁם בִּסְטַנְבּוּל, דְּהַיְנוּ לָמוּת שָׁם, אַךְ זֹאת הַקַּטְנוּת וְהַבִּזְיוֹנוֹת הִצִּילוּ אוֹתוֹ, כִּי קֹדֶם שֶׁבָּאִין לְאֶרֶץ־יִשְׂרָאֵל וְכוּ' כַּנַּ"ל.
14Another time, he said, “I saw that I would have to die in Istanbul, but the humiliation and insults saved me. To approach the Holy Land, one must overcome many barriers” (cf. Tzaddik #36).
טואַחַר־כָּךְ צִוָּה רַבֵּנוּ ז"ל לְהָאִישׁ שֶׁהָיָה עִמּוֹ, שֶׁיִּתֵּן לְהָאֲנָשִׁים הַנַּ"ל שֶׁבִּזּוּ אוֹתוֹ (כַּנַּ"ל) מֵהַמַּאֲכָלִים וּמַשְׁקָאוֹת וּמִינֵי מִרְקַחַת שֶׁלָּהֶם שֶׁהָיָה עִמָּהֶם, לִתֵּן לָהֶם מֵהַכֹּל.
15The Rebbe told his attendant to give his detractors some of the food and preserves they were carrying. He said to give them a little of everything.
טזוְנָסְעוּ אֵלּוּ הָאַנָשִׁים לְבֵיתָם, וְלֹא רָצוּ לְקַבֵּל אִגֶּרֶת מֵרַבֵּנוּ לְבֵיתוֹ, רַק מֵהָאִישׁ שֶׁהָיָה עִמּוֹ קִבְּלוּ אִגֶּרֶת. וְרַבֵּנוּ ז"ל הִנִּיחַ אִגֶּרֶת שֶׁלּוֹ בְּתוֹךְ אִגֶּרֶת שֶׁל הָאִישׁ הַנַּ"ל.
16The two men who had been so insulting to the Rebbe then set out for home. The Rebbe asked them to take along a letter to his family, but they refused. They did, however, take along a letter from his attendant.
יזוְאֵלּוּ הָאֲנָשִׁים הָיוּ רוֹצִים לִפְתֹּחַ אֶת הָאִגֶּרֶת שֶׁל הָאִישׁ הַנַּ"ל אוּלַי יוּכְלוּ לְהָבִין מִמֶּנּוּ אֵיזֶה דָּבָר מֵרַבֵּנוּ ז"ל, מִי הוּא וּמֵאַיִן הוּא, אֲבָל לֹא הָיוּ יְכוֹלִים לִמְצֹא הָאִגֶּרֶת אֶצְלָם, כִּי נֶעְלַם מֵהֶם הֵיכָן שֶׁהִנִּיחוּ אֶת הָאִגֶּרֶת.
17As soon as they left, they wanted to open the letter to see if they could find any clue as to the Rebbe’s identity. But when they looked for the letter, they could not find it among their belongings. Try as they might, they could not remember where they had put it.
יחוְלֹא בָּא לְיָדָם הָאִגֶּרֶת עַד שֶׁבָּאוּ אֶל הַקַּאמֶער (תַּחֲנַת מַעֲבַר גְּבוּל) בְּוָלִיחַאי אָז מָצְאוּ הָאִגֶּרֶת אֶצְלָם, וְרָאוּ מִן הָאִגֶּרֶת שֶׁזֶּה הָיָה רַבֵּנוּ ז"ל. הֵמָּה רָאוּ כֵּן תָּמָהוּ, וְנִבְהֲלוּ מְאֹד. וְהָאִישׁ הַהוּא שֶׁבִּזָּה אוֹתוֹ הַרְבֵּה כַּנַּ"ל בָּא לְבֵיתוֹ וְנִפְטַר בְּסָמוּךְ לְבִיאָתוֹ מַמָּשׁ.
18The letter did not appear until they arrived at the port of Walachia.23 When they opened the letter, they discovered the Rebbe’s true identity. As they saw, so they wondered (Psalms 48:6), and they were very frightened. The man who had insulted the Rebbe the most died soon after returning home (see "His Pilgrimage to the Holy Land" #29).