Tanach · Rishonim on Tanach · Ramban · Torah

Ramban on Exodus 21:9/רמב"ן על שמות כ״א:ט׳

אכְּמִשְׁפַּט הַבָּנוֹת יַעֲשֶׂה לָּהּ עַל דֶּרֶךְ הַפְּשָׁט יִתָּכֵן שֶׁיֹּאמַר שֶׁאִם יִיעָדֶנָּה הַקּוֹנֶה לִבְנוֹ, וְהוּא הַשִּׁדּוּךְ שֶׁיְּשַׁדְּכֶנָּה לוֹ, כִּי יִעוּד לְשׁוֹן זִמּוּן הוּא, "מִן הַמּוֹעֵד אֲשֶׁר יְעָדוֹ" (שמואל ב כ':ה'), כַּמִּשְׁפָּט אֲשֶׁר יַעֲשֶׂה הָאָדָם לִבְנוֹתָיו יַעֲשֶׂה לָהּ, שֶׁיִּתֵּן לָהּ מִשֶּׁלּוֹ כְּמֹהַר הַבְּתוּלוֹת. וְצִוָּה בָּזֶה כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה בַּהַעֲנָקָה, וְהַכֹּל חֶסֶד מֵאִתּוֹ יִתְעַלֶּה. וְעַל דֶּרֶךְ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ, וְהוּא הָאֱמֶת, כְּמִשְׁפַּט הַבָּנוֹת אֲשֶׁר יַשִּׂיאוּ אוֹתָן הָאָבוֹת, יַעֲשֶׂה לָהּ הַבֵּן. וּפֵרֵשׁ מִשְׁפָּטָן כִּי אִם יִקַּח אַחֶרֶת, שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעוֹנָתָהּ שֶׁל זוֹ לֹא יִגְרָע, וְאֵין צֹרֶךְ לוֹמַר אִם לֹא יִשָּׂא אַחֶרֶת, כִּי הַכָּתוּב דִּבֵּר בַּהוֹוֶה:
וּפֵרֵשׁ רַשִׁ"י שְׁאֵרָהּ מְזוֹנוֹת, כְּסוּתָהּ כְּמַשְׁמָעָהּ, עוֹנָתָהּ תַּשְׁמִישׁ, וְכֵן אָמַר אוּנְקְלוֹס "זִיּוּנַהּ". וּבַגְּמָרָא (כתובות מז:) אָמְרוּ עַל מִי שֶׁאָמַר כָּךְ, וְהַאי תַּנָּא סָבַר מְזוֹנוֹת דְּאוֹרָיְתָא, דְּתַנְיָא "שְׁאֵרָה" אֵלּוּ מְזוֹנוֹת, וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר "וַיַּמְטֵר עֲלֵיהֶם כֶּעָפָר שְׁאֵר" וְגוֹ' (תהלים עח כז). וְהַמּוּבָן בְּסֻגְיַת הַגְּמָרָא שֶׁהֵם דִּבְרֵי יָחִיד, וַהֲלָכָה מְזוֹנֵי תַּקִּינוּ לָהּ רַבָּנָן. וְגַם עַל דֶּרֶךְ הַפְּשָׁט לָמָּה יַזְכִּיר בַּמְּזוֹנוֹת שְׁאֵר, שֶׁהוּא הַבָּשָׂר, וְהָרָאוּי שֶׁיַּזְכִּיר לַחְמָהּ, כִּי עַל הַלֶּחֶם יִחְיֶה הָאָדָם, וּבוֹ יִהְיֶה הַחִיּוּב. וְחָשַׁב ר"א לְתַקֵּן זֶה, וּפֵרֵשׁ "שְׁאֵרָהּ" מָזוֹן, שֶׁיַּעֲמִיד שְׁאֵרָהּ שֶׁהוּא בְּשָׂרָהּ. וְאֵין בָּזֶה טַעַם, שֶׁיֹּאמַר הַכָּתוּב לֹא יִגְרַע הַבַּעַל בְּשָׂרָהּ:
וּלְכָךְ אֲנִי אוֹמֵר כִּי פֵּרוּשׁ שְׁאֵר בְּכָל מָקוֹם בָּשָׂר הַדָּבֵק וְהַקָּרוֹב לִבְשָׂרוֹ שֶׁל הָאָדָם, נִגְזַר מִלְּשׁוֹן שְׁאֵרִית, כְּלוֹמַר שְׁאָר בְּשָׂרוֹ, מִלְּבַד בְּשַׂר גּוּפוֹ וְיִקָּרְאוּ הַקְּרוֹבִים שְׁאֵר, "אֶל כָּל שְׁאֵר בְּשָׂרוֹ" (ויקרא יח ו), "שַׁאֲרָה הֵנָּה" (שם יז), כְּעִנְיַן "אַךְ עַצְמִי וּבְשָׂרִי אָתָּה" (בראשית כט יד), "וַיֵּאָכֵל חֲצִי בְשָׂרוֹ" (במדבר יב יב). וְכֵן "שֵׁם וּשְׁאָר נִין וָנֶכֶד" (ישעיה יד כב), זַרְעוֹ הַקָּרוֹב אֵלָיו. וְכֵן "בִּכְלוֹת בְּשָׂרְךָ וּשְׁאֵרֶךָ" (משלי ה יא), עַצְמְךָ וּבָנֶיךָ, שֶׁהֵם הַבָּשָׂר הַקָּרוֹב לְךָ, וְיִקָּרֵא הַבָּשָׂר הַנֶּאֱכָל שְׁאֵר, "וַיַּמְטֵר עֲלֵיהֶם כֶּעָפָר שְׁאֵר" (תהלים עח כז), כִּי הַבָּשָׂר הַנֶּאֱכָל יִדְבַּק בָּאוֹכֵל וְיַחְזֹר לִבְשָׂרוֹ. וְיִתָּכֵן שֶׁיִּהְיֶה מִזֶּה "בִּכְלוֹת בְּשָׂרְךָ וּשְׁאֵרֶךָ" (משלי ה יא), בְּשַׂר גּוּפְךָ וּשְׁאָר הַבָּשָׂר הַנַּעֲשֶׂה מִן הַמַּאֲכָל יִכְלֶה וְלֹא יִהְיֶה לְךָ לְבָשָׂר. וְתִקָּרֵא הָאִשָּׁה שְׁאֵר לַבַּעַל, כְּמוֹ שֶׁדָּרְשׁוּ (יבמות כב:) "כִּי אִם לִשְׁאֵרוֹ", שְׁאֵרוֹ זוֹ אִשְׁתּוֹ, וְהוּא מִן הָעִנְיָן שֶׁאָמַר "וְדָבַק בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ וְהָיוּ לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד" (בראשית ב כד). וְהִנֵּה שְׁאֵרָהּ קֵרוּב בְּשָׂרָהּ. וּכְסוּתָהּ כְּסוּת מִטָּתָהּ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות כ"ב:כ"ו) "כִּי הִיא כְּסוּתוֹ לְבַדָּהּ בַּמֶּה יִשְׁכָּב". וְעוֹנָתָהּ הוּא עוֹנָה שֶׁיָּבֹא אֵלֶיהָ לְעֵת דּוֹדִים: וְאִם יִהְיֶה פֵּרוּשׁ שְׁאֵר כְּמוֹ בָּשָׂר כְּדִבְרֵי הַמְפָרְשִׁים (רש"י והרד"ק בתהלים עח כז והרד"ק כאן), וְנֹאמַר כִּי "אֶל כָּל שְׁאֵר בְּשָׂרוֹ" (ויקרא יח ו) כְּמוֹ בְּשַׂר בְּשָׂרוֹ, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית לז כז) "כִּי אָחִינוּ בְשָׂרֵנוּ הוּא", ג"כ נְפָרֵשׁ שְׁאֵרָהּ לֹא יִגְרָע, שֶׁלֹּא יִמְנַע מִמֶּנּוּ בְּשָׂרָהּ, כְּלוֹמַר הַבָּשָׂר הָרָאוּי לָהּ, וְהוּא בְּשַׂר הַבַּעַל אֲשֶׁר הוּא עִמָּהּ לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד. וְעִנְיַן הַכָּתוּב, שֶׁאִם יִקַּח אַחֶרֶת, קֵרוּב בְּשָׂרָהּ שֶׁל זוֹ וּכְסוּת מִטָּתָהּ וְעֵת דּוֹדֶיהָ לֹא יִגְרַע מִמֶּנָּה, כִּי כֵן מִשְׁפַּט הַבָּנוֹת. וְהַטַּעַם, שֶׁלֹּא תִּהְיֶה הָאַחֶרֶת יוֹשֶׁבֶת לוֹ עַל מִטָּה כְּבוּדָּה וְהָיוּ שָׁם לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד, וְזוֹ עִמּוֹ כְּפִילֶגֶשׁ יִשְׁכַּב עִמָּהּ בְּדֶרֶךְ מִקְרֶה וְעַל הָאָרֶץ כְּבָא אֶל אִשָּׁה זוֹנָה, וְלָכֵן מְנָעוֹ הַכָּתוּב מִזֶּה. וְכָךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים (כתובות מח.) שְׁאֵרָהּ זוֹ קֵרוּב בָּשָׂר, שֶׁלֹּא יִנְהַג בָּהּ כְּמִנְהַג פַּרְסִיִּים שֶׁמְּשַׁמְּשִׁין מִטּוֹתֵיהֶן בִּלְבוּשֵׁיהֶן. וְזֶה פֵּרוּשׁ נָכוֹן, כִּי דֶּרֶךְ הַכָּתוּב בְּכָל מָקוֹם לְהַזְכִּיר הַמִּשְׁכָּב בְּלָשׁוֹן נָקִי וּבְקִצּוּר, וְלָכֵן אָמַר בְּאֵלּוּ בְּרֶמֶז שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעוֹנָתָהּ, עַל שְׁלֹשֶׁת הָעִנְיָנִים אֲשֶׁר לְאָדָם עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ בְּחִבּוּרָן וְיָבֹא זֶה כַּהֹגֶן עַל דִּין הַהֲלָכָה, וְיִהְיוּ הַמְּזוֹנוֹת וּמַלְבּוּשֵׁי הָאִשָּׁה תַּקָּנָה מִדִּבְרֵיהֶם:

1AND IF ‘YI’ODENAH’ (HE ESPOUSE HER) UNTO HIS SON, HE SHALL DEAL WITH HER AFTER THE MANNER OF DAUGHTERS. In line with the plain meaning of Scripture, it is possible that G-d is saying that if the buyer yi’odenah for his son, which means that he espoused her to him — for the term yi’ud is an expression of appointing, such as: he tarried longer than the set time which ‘y’ado’ (he had appointed him)⁸⁷ — then he shall do unto her after the manner that a man does for his own daughters — he is to give her of his own according to the dowry of virgins.⁸⁸ He thus commanded this as He did in the law of outfitting the emancipated servant,⁸⁹ and it is all an expression of His goodness, magnified be He! And in accordance with the interpretation of our Rabbis, which is the truth, the meaning of the verse is: after the manner of daughters whom parents marry off, so shall the son [of the master] deal with her. And then He explains [what is “the manner of daughters”] that if he take him another wife, her food, her raiment, and her conjugal rights — that is, of this one [the former maidservant] — he shall not diminish.⁹⁰ It is obvious that if he did not marry another woman he must not diminish her rights, but Scripture speaks of that which is usual.⁹¹. But this is by no means to be understood that it was “the usual” thing to take another wife.Now Rashi explained: “sh’eirah⁹⁰ means food; k’suthah is, as the literal sense of the word, raiment; onatha is the marital duty.” And so did Onkelos render sh’eirah: zivanah (food). But in the Gemara⁹², Note 204. the Rabbis said with reference to the Sage who held this opinion [that sh’eirah means food]: “And this Tanna⁹³, Note 451. holds that the alimentation of one’s wife is a law of the Torah. For we have been taught: sh’eirah — this means her food, and so it says, He caused ‘sh’eir’ (flesh) to rain upon them as the dust⁹⁴ etc.” And from the subject under discussion in that Gemara it is understood that this is the opinion of a single Sage, whilst the accepted law is that the alimentation of one’s wife is a Rabbinical enactment. And even according to the plain meaning of Scripture, why should it mention food under the term sh’eir which means “flesh;” it should rather have mentioned lachmah (her bread), for man lives by bread⁹⁵ and his obligation towards her is [mainly] in that sustenance. Now Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra thought to correct this, and so he explained sh’eirah as meaning food which builds up her sh’eir, namely her flesh. But there is no sense in Scripture saying that the “husband diminish not her flesh!”Therefore I say that the meaning of sh’eir everywhere is flesh close and near to one’s own, the root thereof being derived from the expression sh’eir b’saro,⁹⁶ that is his close flesh outside that of the flesh of his own body. Thus relatives are called sh’eir: to any sh’eir b’saro’ (that is near of kin to him);⁹⁶ they are ‘sha’arah’ (near kinswomen),⁹⁷, Verse 17. this being associated with the expressions: surely thou art my bone and my flesh;⁹⁸ of whom the flesh is half consumed.⁹⁹ Similarly, And I will cut off from Babylon a name, ‘ush’ar’ offshoot and offspring,¹⁰⁰ means a child related to him. Likewise, when thy flesh ‘ush’eirecha’ are consumed,¹⁰¹ which means “yourself and your children” who are the flesh closest to you. Thus meat is called sh’eir — He caused ‘sh’eir’ to rain upon them as the dust⁹⁴ — because meat when eaten is absorbed by the eater and becomes part of his flesh. It is possible that this is the meaning of the expression, when thy flesh ‘ush’eirecha’ are consumed,¹⁰¹ meaning: when the original flesh of your body, and the nutriment of flesh which came from the food, will be consumed and will no longer be part of your flesh. Thus a woman in relation to her husband is called sh’eir — just as the Rabbis interpreted:¹⁰² “except for ‘lish’eiro,’¹⁰³ sh’eir means his wife;” — the usage of the term being derived from the idea that G-d stated, and he shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.¹⁰⁴ Thus sh’eira here means “the nearness of her flesh;” k’suthah is “the cover of her bed,” just as it is said, for that is his only ‘k’suthoh’ (covering)… wherein shall he sleep?¹⁰⁵ and onathah is “her time,” that he come to her at times of love. And even if we say as some commentators do, that the meaning of sh’eir is like “his flesh,” and the expression, to any ‘sh’eir’ b’saro’⁹⁶ is like “to any flesh of his flesh,” just as it says, for he is our brother, our flesh¹⁰⁶ — in that case we would still explain ‘sh’eirah'… he shall not diminish as meaning that he shall not diminish from her her flesh; that is, the flesh due to her, namely, the flesh of her husband who with her is one flesh. Thus the meaning of the verse is, that G-d says that if the master takes another wife, he shall not diminish from this one the nearness of her flesh, the cover of her bed, and her time of love, for such is the manner of daughters. And the intention is that the other woman should not be sitting upon a stately bed,¹⁰⁷ and there they shall be one flesh,¹⁰⁴ whilst this one is to him merely like a concubine, with whom he lives only by chance, and upon the ground, just like one comes to a harlot. It is for this reason that Scripture has forbidden him to act in this way. And so did the Sages say:¹⁰⁸ “sh’eirah means the nearness of flesh, that he should not behave to her as is the custom among the Persians, who perform their marital rights in their clothes.” This is a correct interpretation, for such is the style of Scripture always to mention sexual intercourse in clean and brief language. Therefore it mentions these duties by means of allusion: sh’eirah k’sutha v’onatha, referring to the three things which are usual when a man comes together with his wife. Thus the verse is properly explained in accordance with the accepted law, whilst alimentation of one’s wife and provision of her raiment are duties put upon the husband by ordinance of the Rabbis.