Tanach · Rishonim on Tanach · Ramban · Torah

Ramban on Deuteronomy 21:13/רמב"ן על דברים כ״א:י״ג

אוְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ, אָמְרוּ בְּסִפְרֵי (תצא יג), אֵין לְךָ בָּהּ אֶלָּא מִצְוַת בְּעִילָה. נִתְכַּוְּנוּ לוֹמַר שֶׁאֵין קִדּוּשֵׁי כֶּסֶף וּשְׁטָר תּוֹפְסִין בָּהּ, וְגַם הַבְּעִילָה לֹא לְשֵׁם קִדּוּשִׁין, שֶׁדִּינָהּ עֲדַיִן כְּגוֹיָה שֶׁאֵין קִדּוּשִׁין תּוֹפְסִין בָּהּ, אֶלָּא שֶׁיַּתִּיר לוֹ הַכָּתוּב בְּעִילָתָהּ. וּמִפְּנֵי שֶׁאָמַר וְהָיְתָה לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה, יוֹרֶה שֶׁהִיא אִשְׁתּוֹ גְּמוּרָה, וְאִם זָנְתָה תַּחְתָּיו תִּדּוֹן כְּאֵשֶׁת אִישׁ. וְכָךְ אָמְרוּ בַּגְּמָרָא בְּמַסֶּכֶת קִדּוּשִׁין (קידושין כ"ב), וְלָקַחְתָּ לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה, לִקּוּחִין יֵשׁ לְךָ בָּהּ, כְּלוֹמַר אַחַר הַמַּעֲשִׂים הַלָּלוּ. וּבְסִפְרֵי (שם), וְהָיְתָה לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה, כָּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעֹנָתָהּ לֹא יִגְרָע. א"כ הִיא אִשְׁתּוֹ לְגַמְרֵי, כִּי הַתּוֹרָה הִקְנְתָה אוֹתָהּ לוֹ. וְעַל דֶּרֶךְ הַפְּשָׁט יֵרָאֶה שֶׁאָסוּר לִבְעֹל אוֹתָהּ עַד שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה כָּל הַתּוֹרָה הַזֹּאת, וְזֶה טַעַם וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ. וּמָה שֶׁאָמַר וְחָשַׁקְתָּ בָהּ וְלָקַחְתָּ לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה, שֶׁיִּקָּחֶנָּה לִהְיוֹת לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה אַחַר הַמַּעֲשִׂים הָאֵלֶּה אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה, וְכֵן וָאֶקַּח אֹתָהּ לִי לְאִשָּׁה (בראשית יב יט). אֲבָל בַּגְּמָרָא בְּמַסֶּכֶת קִדּוּשִׁין (קידושין כ"א) אָמְרוּ שֶׁהוּא מֻתָּר לָבוֹא עָלֶיהָ בִּיאָה רִאשׁוֹנָה, וְזֶהוּ וְלָקַחְתָּ לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה, וְדָרְשׁוּ (שם כב), וַהֲבֵאתָהּ אֶל תּוֹךְ בֵּיתֶךָ, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁלֹּא יִלְחָצֶנָּה בַּמִּלְחָמָה. יְחַבְּרוּ אוֹתָהּ לְמַעְלָה, וְלָקַחְתָּ לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה כְּשֶׁתְּבִיאֶנָּה אֶל תּוֹךְ בֵּיתֶךָ, וְהִנֵּה הוּא שׁוֹבֶה אוֹתָהּ בַּמִּלְחָמָה וּמְבִיאָהּ אֶל בֵּיתוֹ וְאֶל עִירוֹ, וּבוֹעֵל אוֹתָהּ לִשְׁבֹּר אֶת לִבּוֹ הַזּוֹנֶה, וְאַחֲרֵי הַבִּיאָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה תֵּאָסֵר עָלָיו עַד שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה לָהּ אֵת כָּל הַתּוֹרָה הַזֹּאת. וְזֶה דֶּרֶךְ הַגְּמָרָא בִּמְקוֹמוֹת רַבִּים. אֲבָל רָאִיתִי בַּיְּרוּשַׁלְמִי בְּמַסֶּכֶת סַנְהֶדְרִין (עי' ירושלמי מכות ב ו), רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן שָׁלַח לְרַבָּנִין דְּתַמָּן, תְּרֵין מִילִין אַתּוּן אָמְרִין בְּשֵׁם רַב וְלֵית אִנּוּן כֵּן. אַתֶּם אוֹמְרִים בְּשֵׁם רַב, יְפַת תֹּאַר לֹא הֻתְּרָה אֶלָּא בְּעִילָה רִאשׁוֹנָה בִּלְבַד, וַאֲנִי אוֹמֵר לֹא בְּעִילָה רִאשׁוֹנָה וְלֹא שְׁנִיָּה אֶלָּא לְאַחַר כָּל הַמַּעֲשִׂים הַלָּלוּ, וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ, אַחַר כָּל הַמַּעֲשִׂים הָאֵלּוּ. וְזֶהוּ מַשְׁמָעוּתוֹ שֶׁל מִקְרָא:

1AND AFTER THAT THOU MAYEST COME UNTO HER, AND BE HER HUSBAND. The Rabbis have commented in the Sifre:¹⁵ 213 and Yebamoth 48b. “You have no privilege in her except cohabitation.” By this the Rabbis meant to say that betrothal with money or a writ³² is not binding on her. Even the cohabitation is not for the purpose of betrothal, since her status is still that of an idolatress upon whom betrothal is not binding; however, Scripture permitted him to cohabit with her.³³ And because Scripture states [at the expiration of the thirty-day mourning period], and she shall be thy wife,³⁴ it indicates that she becomes his real wife, and if she commits adultery while living with him, she is to be tried as a married woman. Thus the Rabbis have said in the Gemara of Tractate Kiddushin:³⁵ “And thou wouldest take her to thee to wife.³⁶ You have possession of her [through legal marriage],” that is, after following these regulations. And in the Sifre the Rabbis have said,¹⁵ 213 and Yebamoth 48b. “And she shall be thy wife,³⁴ similar to what is stated, her food, her raiment, and her conjugal rights, he shall not diminish.”³⁷ If so, she is his wife in all respects seeing that the Torah gave him possession of her.And in line with the simple meaning of Scripture it appears that he is prohibited from cohabiting with her at all until after he has gone through this entire procedure, this being the sense of the expression, and after that thou mayest come unto her, and be her husband. And that which Scripture stated, and thou desirest her, and thou wouldest take her to thee to wife,³⁶ means that he would take her for his wife after [complying with] all these regulations which it will command. Similarly, so that I took her to be my wife³⁸ [means that Pharaoh took her to his house to be his wife]. However, in the Gemara of Tractate Kiddushin³⁹ the Rabbis have said that he is permitted to engage in the first cohabitation [even before the procedure prescribed in this section], this being the sense of the expression, and thou wouldest take her to thee to wife.³⁶ They interpreted the expression, “And thou shalt bring her home to thy house⁴⁰ — this teaches that he is not to coerce her during battle.” The Rabbis connected it with the verse above, and thou wouldest take her to thee to wife [stated in Verse 11] meaning, when thou shalt bring her home to thy house [Verse 12]. Thus he takes her captive in battle and brings her to his home and to his city, and he cohabits with her in order to bring his lustful heart under control,⁴¹ and after his first cohabitation she is prohibited to him until he follows through the entire procedure with her. This is the way of the Gemara in many places. But I have seen in the Yerushalmi of Tractate Sanhedrin:⁴² “Rabbi Yochanan sent to the Rabbis there [in Babylon],⁴³ in the Land of Israel during the generation following the death of Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi, redactor of the Mishnah. His contemporary in Babylon was Rav, leader of the Academy of Sura. ‘You say two things in the name of Rav which are not so. You say in the name of Rav, a beautiful woman was permitted only for the first cohabitation [prior to the prescribed procedure].’ And I say neither the first cohabitation nor the second is permitted save only after [complying with] all these regulations, [for it is written], and after that thou mayest come unto her, and be her husband — after she has gone through all these prescribed deeds.” And this is the plain sense of the verse.