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Ramban on Numbers 30:14/רמב"ן על במדבר ל׳:י״ד
אכָּל נֵדֶר וְכָל שְׁבוּעַת אִסָּר לְעַנֹּת נָפֶשׁ – לְפִי שֶׁאָמַר שֶׁהַבַּעַל מֵפֵר, יָכוֹל כָּל נְדָרִים בְּמַשְׁמַע? תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר ״לְעַנּוֹת נָפֶשׁ״, אֵינוֹ מֵפֵר אֶלָּא נִדְרֵי עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ בִּלְבַד, וְהֵם הַמְפֹרָשִׁים בְּמַסֶּכֶת נְדָרִים, לְשׁוֹן רַשִׁ״י (רש״י על במדבר ל׳:י״ד). וּבְלָשׁוֹן קְצָרָה דִּבֵּר הָרַב, כִּי הַבַּעַל מֵפֵר נִדְרֵי עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ, וְהֵם כְּגוֹן ״פֵּרוֹת הָעוֹלָם אֲסוּרִים עָלַי״, וַאֲפִלּוּ נָדְרָה שֶׁלֹּא תִטְעוֹם אֶחָד מִכָּל הַמִּינִים (תוספתא נדרים פ״ז ה״ג), וּמֵפֵר גַּם כֵּן דְּבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין בָּהֶם עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁלֹּא אֶכְחוֹל וְשֶׁלֹּא אֲפַקֵּס וְשֶׁלֹּא אֲשַׁמֵּשׁ מִטָּתִי, וְהֵם שֶׁאָמַר בָּהֶם ״בֵּין אִישׁ לְאִשְׁתּוֹ״ (במדבר ל׳:י״ז), כִּדְמְפֹרָשׁ בְּפֶרֶק אַחֲרוֹן שֶׁל נְדָרִים (עט). וְכֵן הַדִּין בָּאָב עַצְמוֹ, דְּתַנְיָא בְּסִפְרֵי (מטות כז): אֵין לִי אֶלָּא בַּעַל שֶׁאֵין מֵפֵר אֶלָּא נְדָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ וּנְדָרִים שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ, הָאָב מִנַּיִן? הֲרֵי אַתָּה דָן וְכוּ׳ עַד שֶׁלֹּא זָכִיתִי לָדוּן, תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר ״אֵלֶּה הַחֻקִּים אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה׳ אֶת מֹשֶׁה בֵּין אִישׁ לְאִשְׁתּוֹ בֵּין אָב לְבִתּוֹ״, עַל כָּרְחֲךָ אַתָּה מַקִּישׁ אֶת הָאָב לַבַּעַל - מָה הַבַּעַל אֵינוֹ מֵפֵר אֶלָּא דְּבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ וּדְבָרִים שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ, אַף הָאָב אֵין מֵפֵר אֶלָּא דְּבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ וּדְבָרִים שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ. וְכָךְ הִיא שְׁנוּיָה עוֹד בִּגְמָרָא שֶׁל נְדָרִים יְרוּשַׁלְמִי (פי״א ה״א):
1EVERY VOW, AND EVERY BINDING OATH TO AFFLICT THE SOUL, [HER HUSBAND MAY ESTABLISH IT, AND HER HUSBAND MAY MAKE IT VOID]. “Since He had said [in the preceding verses] that a husband may annul [his wife’s vows], I might think that this includes all her vows! Scripture therefore says, to afflict the soul, meaning that he can only annul vows which afflict the soul, and they are explained in Tractate Nedarim.” These are the words of Rashi. But his language here is [too] concise, because a husband annuls vows which afflict the soul, such as [if she vows] “The fruits of the world be forbidden to me,” or even if she [only] vowed that she would not taste one of all the kinds [of fruits]; and likewise he may annul matters [which concern the relationship] between himself and his wife, even if they do not involve affliction of the soul, such as [if she swore] “I will not paint [my eyes]” or “I will not put powder on my face,” or “I will not have sexual intercourse,” these being matters about which He said, between a man and his wife,50 as is explained in the last chapter of Tractate Nedarim.51 Such is also the law with respect to the father himself, as we have been taught in the Sifre:52 155. “I only know that a husband may annul vows [which concern the relationship] between himself and his wife, and vows which afflict the soul, [to the exclusion of other vows which he may not annul]. Whence do I know that the father [is similarly limited in his rights]? You can reason [in the following manner] etc… But I have not succeeded in establishing [the father’s law] by reason. Therefore Scripture says: These are the statutes, which the Eternal commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between a father and his daughter.50 [This teaches us that] we must of necessity compare the father to the husband, sothat just as the husband may only annul vows [which concern the relationship] between himself and his wife, and matters which involve affliction of the soul, so also the father may only annul matters [which concern the laws] between him and her,53 and matters which involve affliction of the soul.” It is also taught in this way in the Gemara Yerushalmi of Tractate Nedarim.54