Or HaChaim on Genesis 32:5/אור החיים על בראשית ל״ב:ה׳

1 ויצו אותם לאמור, He instructed them to say, etc. We must first understand the reason for the word לאמור, seeing that Jacob had already said to these messengers: "thus you shall say." Perhaps Jacob meant that they should tell Esau that they had been instructed to say precisely the words they were about to say. Otherwise, Esau might form the impression that the messengers related to him with deference and called him "his master," being aware that he was the senior brother and that it was only common courtesy to address him in that fashion, but that Jacob himself had never uttered the word אדון in relation to his brother. Jacob wanted to be sure that Esau realised that he himself had addressed him as אדון, master. He did so in order to remove any vestige of hatred and jealousy Esau might still, harbour against him in his heart. Were this not the true reason it is difficult to understand why Jacob should refer to Esau as his master even while Esau was not present. We must conclude therefore that Jacob used this term of flattery in order to avoid a possible war between himself and Esau.

2עם לבן גרתי, "I have sojourned with Laban, etc." What precisely did Jacob tell Esau in this speech that Esau had not known? Perhaps it is the custom between brothers who are on good terms with one another to exchange details about their experiences in life. Jacob may have done so in order to show that he considered himself on good terms with Esau.

3In addition Jacob may have acted very cleverly by implying that there was no point in Esau behaving in a hostile manner, that Laban had already tried this for many years and it had not benefited him at all. The words: עם לבן גרתי were a veiled reference to the wickedness of that man. If he, Jacob, after so many years in the house of that man returned now as a wealthy man with a large family this was proof that it paid to be on good terms with a man such as he. He added: ואחר עד עתה, I delayed my return until now, meaning that all of his wealth had not been acquired in a short period of time but that his success had been ongoing. When he added that he had acquired a substantial amount of wealth, he intimated that his wealth notwithstanding he described himself as junior, as "a servant" to his older brother. His words were designed to melt even a heart of stone.